Michael Cohen: Is this the kind of jerk-off
would want to be US Attorney General?
news is now pretty much viral: Donald Trumpís lawyer, Michael
Cohen, is a total dick. Total. And he probably knows less about law than
I do, which ainít much, Iíll admit. But
at least I have never stated in an interview with The
that "by the very definition, you canít rape your
spouse," implying that there is no law against spousal rape.
Wrong, dude. Spousal rape is illegal in all 50 states Ė even South
Carolina and Texas. Itís illegal in many other places with horrendous
records on civil rights -- places like Paupa New Guinea, Turkey, Namibia,
and Israel. Maybe Cohen was referring to Botswana or Tajikistan when he
implied that spousal rape is legal, or OK, or whatever the hell he was
Seems to me that in attempting to bury the old rape
allegations against Trump, Cohen was either intentionally lying when he
stated as a legal fact that one cannot rape oneís spouse, or he is so
misinformed, legally speaking, that New York should consider requiring him
to take the bar exam again. Thatís my opinion, of course. I donít know
the prick personally. I mean, heís not the sort of person I would ever
stoop to hang out with, and I certainly wouldn't vote for anyone he works
One of the points that is being missed in this story is the
context of the Daily Beast article. The authors, Tim Mak and Brandy
Zadrozny, were juxtaposing Trumpís viral rhetorical question "Whoís
doing the raping?" against the allegations in a divorce deposition in
which Trump himself was accused of raping his wife. I think Mak and Zadrozny
were making the point that occurred to me, too: If you wannaí know
"whoís doing the raping," the first place you would want to look
is not at people from Mexico, but at people from places like the Queens and
But more than his stupid you-can't-rape-your-wife comment,
the creep Cohen really showed the world who he is by threatening Mak and
Zadronzny. We donít know whether it was Mak or Zadronzny who was
interviewing him, but whoever it was Cohen absolutely shot himself in the
foot when he warned them:
"I will make sure that you and I meet one day while
weíre in the courthouse. And I will take you for every penny you still
donít have. And I will come after your Daily Beast and everybody else
that you possibly know," Cohen said. "So Iím warning you,
tread very fucking lightly, because what Iím going to do to you is going
to be fucking disgusting. You understand me?"
"You write a story that has Mr. Trumpís name in it,
with the word Ďrape,í and Iím going to mess your life upÖ for as
long as youíre on this frickiní planetÖ youíre going to have
judgments against you, so much money, youíll never know how to get out
from underneath it," he added.
"I think you should go ahead and you should write the
story that you plan on writing. I think you should do it. Because I think
youíre an idiot. And I think your paperís a joke, and itís going to
be my absolute pleasure to serve you with a $500 million lawsuit, like I
told [you] I did it to Univision," Cohen continued.
And so now that his comments have gone viral, the world is
asking just who this guy, the real idiot, is. Does he think that any jury in
the country that's not bought would do anything but laugh in his face after
reading those threats?
And ponder this for a little while before falling asleep
tonight: oleí shit-for-brains here could end up as the US Attorney General
if Trump is elected. And if not him, some other bloviating Trumpian turd.
Remember, this Cohen is the same jack-ass who, in a previous
interview with Paul Alexander of the Daily Beast, said "People
change their positions all the time, the way they change their wives."
in defending Trumpís switch from pro-choice to pro-life. Cohen himself has
bounced back and forth between Democrat and Republican to suit his
short-term political goals, according to Alexanderís 2011 article. This is
the sort of self-serving people Trump hires. It's the kind of people
he'll be hiring if you elect him president.
As for Tim Mak and Brandy Zadronzny, well, they obviously
didnít back down from this litigious prick. Brilliant work, you two. If
you need crowd funding to fight a SLAPP suit from Cohen or Trump, Iíll be
first in line with a donation.